Preparing for a Holy Conversation
October 18, 2009
The Reverend Anne Felton Hines
Science fiction writer Larry Niven said that “Everything starts as somebody’s daydream.” I’ve always contended that my daydream of ministry began when I overheard my minister at Throop Church tell a friend of mine that “the most important thing about being a minister is that you have to love the pulpit.” And I thought to myself, “Hmmm….I ‘love the pulpit!’”
I had been an extremely active member of that congregation, serving on just about every committee, including Worship, and overseeing every worship service the past couple of summers while the minister was on vacation; I’d even crafted several of them. Oh yes…I loved being in the pulpit even then!
But this “daydream” of mine didn’t begin in a vacuum; I’d already been wondering what to do with my life. I was a single mother of two young children; I’d been working as a secretary and volunteer coordinator for several years at the Alcoholism Council of Greater Los Angeles; and I knew that I wanted to do something more. “But what?” was the question. I hadn’t completed even an undergraduate degree; and when I applied for a position of Counselor at the Alcoholism Council, I was told that I’d either need to have a degree in Counseling, or be a recovering alcoholic – neither of which applied to me.
I’ve described my journey into ministry more than once from this pulpit. And what I’ve always said about it is that my so-called “calling” into ministry was purely pragmatic: I looked at all the things for which I was volunteering at my church, and realized I could get paid for them if I were ordained! Not a very profound “calling!”
I have said that it wasn’t until midway through my Seminary training, after conducting my first memorial service, that I felt truly “beckoned” to ministry; and that it really wasn’t until several years into serving my first congregation that I answered with a profound and solid “Yes.”
But now I realize that none of that has actually been true. In looking back over my life, I realize that from the time I was a teenager, I have had a vision of making a difference in people’s lives. I realize now that it has been that vision that has led me forward – sometimes unconsciously, and often intermittently; but forward nevertheless.
It was that vision that fueled my early desire to become a psychologist. After reading about the theories of Freud, Jung, and others, I became convinced that if the major world leaders could sit down together in ongoing group therapy, and talk about their deepest fears and hopes, we could end war. (And as naïve and silly as that image now sounds, part of me still believes it could work!)
It was my vision of making a difference that fueled my occasional fantasy (and admittedly, this was a bit egotistical!) of standing in front of thousands of people, inspiring them to create radical change in the world.
And it was my vision of making a difference in people’s lives that caused me a few years ago to begin declining most requests to officiate at weddings, other than those of church members or friends. I found that for most straight couples who are unaffiliated with any religious tradition, I was simply a “minister-for-hire,” not much different than the caterer or photographer – except that I didn’t get paid as well as they did!
Of course, the weddings I conducted a year ago for Ann and Dar Fisher, and Gail Ringer and Marjorie Stark, were two of the most joyful ceremonies of my ministry; they were clearly part of my Calling into the ministry, and were making a difference in lives.
Generally, however, I’d prefer officiating at a couple’s Renewal of Vows – as I will be doing this afternoon, because that ceremony is a symbol not only of the couple’s commitment to one another and their relationship, but is an acknowledgement that in spite of all they’ve learned about each other, and all the challenges they’ve faced, they still wish to share their lives in marriage.
So I know now that my path into parish ministry wasn’t simply a pragmatic response to a question of job search; but was instead the long-awaited answer to a daydream – a Vision I’d been holding for myself.
This church – your Unitarian Universalist home – began as somebody’s “daydream” as well. Five families who were already members of a Unitarian congregation in Van Nuys wondered about creating another congregation, but in the West Valley – one that could “cradle” their visions for strong religious education and social action programs closer to home, and perhaps with less contentiousness than they were finding in their current place. Those families were the founders of Emerson Unitarian Fellowship – now Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church. And they and the members who followed in their footsteps carried their visions through several different meeting places, ministers, fires, and earthquakes. And we are the inheritors of those visions; they have brought us to where we are today. Many of you have been part of that history, even those of you only here for the past ten years or so.
For you see, this congregation has had a number of conversations over the years about your hopes and dreams for Emerson. When the Northridge earthquake severely damaged the building, you considered all your options: Should you repair the damage and keep the building, even though it would mean thousands of additional dollars to make it accessible to those with disabilities? Should you abandon this site altogether and find property in a different neighborhood – one that might feel more safe to some folks?
In the end, you chose to stay in this town, on this corner. You decided to tear down that wonderful old building with all its beloved nooks and crannies, and create this wonderful one, with all the risks – especially financial – that that would involve. And in that process, you clarified your values and your visions as a UU community.
After the building was completed and the Reverend Gail Geisenhainer was serving as your Extension minister, you embarked on a Long-Range Planning process that actually reached across three separate ministries – Rev. Gail’s, Rev. Mike Thompson’s, and into mine.
During that process, you met in focus groups, through which you articulated the areas of church life that were most important to you, and you chose to study seven of them: Governance, Shared Ministry, Lay Pastoral Care, Lifespan Religious Education, Emerson’s Preschool, Land and Facilities, and Program Budget. Study groups were formed for each area, each one meeting over a two-to-three month period, and ending with a recommendation to the Board.
If you were here a couple of weeks ago, you heard Brian Nelson speak about these Study Groups, and share the results of them. I’m not going to repeat that now, but suffice it to say that in every single category, some – if not all – of the recommendations have since been met, and/or different steps have been taken because of changing circumstances. No category has simply faded away or been swept under the perennial rug.
A couple of years into my ministry here, we came together to create a Statement of Ministry, which can be found on the back of your Order of Service every Sunday. It is essentially what most organizations would call a “Mission Statement,” but so many of us gagged at that concept that we re-named it, feeling that defining our ministry as a congregation would be far more meaningful. And I believe it is; and I believe the process we went through in creating it helped us, once more, define who we are and who we want to be.
In at least a couple of our Stewardship (or Canvass) drives, we’ve asked you as individuals to articulate your “visions” for Emerson. Some of your responses have been “large” – “Become a center of intellectual life;” “Become a household word among Valley progressives;” “A place for spiritually-minded people who can’t fit in elsewhere.”
And some responses were more particular: “More social events;” “Solar-powered electricity;” “Become a neighborhood polling place;” “Offer a free pet spay & neutering clinic.” J Several talked about wanting more members; one person suggested “Grow enough to spawn more growth.” I think what people mean by that is: Be so welcoming and embracing of all who walk through our doors, that they are fully engaged, and want to join our efforts to make a difference in the world.
All these exercises have been, in a way, preparation for the larger, more structured process of Visioning that will be offered here next Sunday after our worship service. Because according to Peter M. Senge in his book The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of the Learning Organization, in order for our Visions to be truly “shared visions,” they must “take time to emerge.” They “require ongoing conversation where individuals not only feel free to express their dreams, but learn how to listen to each others’ dreams. Out of this listening, new insights into what is possible gradually emerge.”
When I decided to begin the journey into parish ministry some 30 years ago, I thought I was simply working towards a “daydream” that would allow me to do what I was already doing at my church, but get paid for it. But now, after all these years, I realize I was actually responding to a greater Vision – a longing I’d been carrying within me for many, many years.
Likewise, underlying all those particular daydreams that continue to be voiced by each of you for this church – the desire for more buildings, for after-school programs, for the gates to come down, for outreach to our neighborhood, in addition to those I mentioned a few moments ago – underlying all those and more is a longing for something larger, for a Vision of this church – of your spiritual home – that brings you back, and calls to you to help create it.
And that’s the conversation on which we are about to embark together. Once we articulate our larger vision, we can determine the particulars that will make it visible.
As someone has written, Vision “is the congregation’s story imagined, but yet to unfold….(It) emerges from looking both deep and distant, ever seeing with the eyes of the soul.”
I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of your presence next Sunday, as we enter this “holy conversation” about our dreams for this church. It may not be an easy conversation, for we will each be asked not only to speak our hopes and fears, but to listen to those of others as well. We will be asked to speak from and listen with “the eyes of our soul.”
But I have faith that we can do this. J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, said that “anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve!” And this church has proven many times over that it has “enough nerve!” So bring it with you again next Sunday; visioning is not for sissies! J
“This house is a cradle for our dreams, a workshop for our common endeavors.” What are your dreams? What “common endeavors” will we create in the future? What visions will we embody for our children, and our children’s children? The answers are within each of you. And they are Holy.
© 2008-2010 Anne Felton Hines. All rights reserved.
