Let Freedom Ring: A Call to Honor Love
December 9th, 2007 The Reverend Anne Felton Hines
I want to read you a story. It’s actually a children’s story that I’d planned for months to read to the children today. But as I re-read it a few days ago, I decided that much of it would be lost on the children; but I knew you’d appreciate it.
(King and King, by Linda de Haan & Stern Nijland, read – story about queen inviting princesses to meet her son the Prince, in hopes of marrying him off; he falls in love with brother of one of them; they marry; last line of story: “And everyone lives happily ever after.”)
*****
Ahhh…If that were only true! But unfortunately in this country, our laws are still governed by a small but powerful religious contingency that insists homosexuality is “an abomination,” and that only marriage between a man and a woman is sanctified by God.
The Religious Right in this country has led the nation on a frantic race to ensure that same sex couples will not be recognized as legally married. And unfortunately, members of both major political parties have fallen in step. Even the President has called for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would prevent same sex couples from marrying – one of the more chilling actions of his presidency (and there have been many), as it would be the first constitutional amendment to actually deprive citizens of rights.
But people who have longed to marry the person they love, already feel that deprivation. Religious Science minister Reverend Diann Davisson, writes of the anguish she feels when officiating at the wedding of a heterosexual couple while knowing that she is unable to have that same ceremony for herself.
“The irony of this point struck home recently,” she wrote, “when I stood in a beautifully decorated sanctuary before an expectant bride and groom and pronounced them husband and wife. My eyes were moist with tears. Later, after the ceremony, someone mentioned how ‘moved’ I appeared to be. Yes, I had been moved by the sacredness and happiness of the event; but more than that, I was crying for the fact that after 29 years of love and devotion with my partner, we are still not entitled to the same civil rights and recognition that this couple now would enjoy.”
It is not easy finding love – the kind of profound love with another person that Reverend Davisson has found with her partner, and that so many of you have found with yours – whether your partner is the same gender as you or the opposite. Why would anyone wish to deny that love? Why would we let some people celebrate their love with a license that guarantees full legal benefits, and deny those same benefits to others? What makes one love acceptable, and the other not?
But I believe the tide is turning.
Whereas in the mid-1980s when I began my ministry, Unitarian Universalists were the only faith speaking out for the ordination of gay men and lesbians, and shortly thereafter became the first denomination to bless same-sex “holy unions,” today there are several religious traditions that affirm and bless these unions, and now are calling for the legal recognition of same-sex civil marriage; and there are even more clergy who take these actions even when their religious tradition don’t.
This past September, an Amicus – or “friend of the court” – Brief was filed with the California Supreme Court, arguing that “California violates its own constitution by denying same-sex couples the freedom to marry.” Not only was this church and I signatories to that Brief, but over 400 other clergy and religious institutions were as well. I want to share with you some of the statements that became part of this legal document, because they can give us hope.
From the Union for Reform Judaism: “The Torah teaches that in the beginning God created humans B’tselem Elohim – in the Divine Image; therefore, the diversity of Creation represents the vastness of the Eternal.
“The Union unequivocally supports equal rights for all people, including the right to a civil marriage license.”
From the Buddhist Soka Gakkai International-USA: ‘“The Buddha’s teaching begins with the recognition of human diversity.’ In this spirit, the SGI-USA embraced conducting Buddhist wedding ceremonies for lesbian and gay couples in May 1995.”
From the California Council of Churches, which represents Protestant and Orthodox faiths: “God’s message is universal love of and for all people….‘Our commitment to religious liberty for all and equal protection under the law leads us to assert that the State may not rely on the views of particular religious sects as a basis for denying civil marriage licenses to same-gender couples.’”
From the Reconciling Ministries Clergy of the United Methodist Church: “We believe that human sexuality is a good gift from God. Responsible use of sexuality isn’t dependent on the gender of a partner; rather, it is based upon faithful, mature, loving, and mutually respectful expression of that gift. When we so live out our sexuality, we are drawn into ever-deepening relationships with others and with God.”
The tide is turning.
Meredith Graham and I are active in a Valley chapter of California Faith for Equality, an interfaith coalition that is working on marriage equality. The group, composed of Jews, Lutherans, Episcopalians, UUs and others, recently adopted a statement that we will be posting online, and inviting clergy throughout Southern California to sign. The statement puts us on record as supporting “…equal civil marriage rights for all people, including same-sex and same-gender loving couples,” and committing “ourselves to public action, visibility, education, and mutual support in the service of the right and freedom to marry.”
The tide is turning.
Those in California who have been trying to qualify measures for the June ballot – measures that would either create a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage in this state, or worse repeal the domestic partnership laws entirely – have so far been unsuccessful in their efforts to raise enough money to qualify. That is a good sign.
But they are persistent, and it’s likely that we will be faced with such ballot measures next November. So it is imperative that we who have responded to the call to “stand on the side of love” for so long, join with our brothers and sisters of other faith communities in a renewal of our commitment to “let freedom ring” for all loving couples who yearn to have their relationships legally recognized, no matter their gender.
We must work hard to ensure that the tide continue to turn away from fear and intolerance, toward reason and love.
We do this in part so that those within our own religious home who have been waiting for this freedom will have to wait no longer.
People like Gail Ringer and Marjorie Stark, who had a “joining ceremony almost 20 years ago in Maui,” and more recently registered as “Domestic Partners in the State of California because,” they wrote, “that was the only small step we could take to obtain a few of our civil rights as a married couple. Of course, our limited civil rights only apply to…California and not the federal government.
“There is no question,” they told me, “we would get married ‘legally’ if married same gender couples were permitted the same civil rights as married straight couples. But we want to make it very clear that it is our opinion that it is not the role of the government to approve our marriage. We took care of that ourselves. It is their job to provide equal rights to all married couples.”
And we work for marriage equality for people like Ann Teitelbaum and Dar Fisher, who share with us the following story:
When San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom arranged for a long weekend of “legal” same-gender marriage in 2004, we were sorely tempted to take the plunge. We looked up airfares, hotel costs, and even phoned Anne Hines to find out if she’d be open to flying up with us to perform our wedding.
But in the end, we realized that it wasn’t the same at all. For years, we’d been telling our grandchildren that they were going to be in our wedding. We’d been assuming we’d hold it here at Emerson, surrounded by our friends. To hastily travel out of town for a ceremony that was going to be hectic and chaotic by nature somehow felt like a let-down.
And so we decided to wait. And we’re still waiting. For the time when we can stand here, in front of our congregation, and take the vows we’ve been living by for over 15 years. We do have faith that that time will come.
I, too, “have faith that that time will come,” in part because I see the tide turning – toward reason and love and acceptance.
A year or so ago, my granddaughter (who was 10 or 11 at the time) was visiting me, and we’d stopped by the church for something. As I puttered around my office, she began gathering some of my children’s books to take back to my house, and when we left she carried about half a dozen with her.
As we drove away I glanced in the rear-view mirror and noticed that she’d begun to read the book I read you earlier – King and King. “Oh this should be interesting,” I thought to myself – knowing that same sex marriage wasn’t something probably discussed in her home.
All of a sudden I heard from the back seat a gasp. “What?” I asked.
“Well!” said Karina; “this is just so weird!”
“What?” says I.
“Well, you expect the boy to marry the girl,” she said, “but instead, he marries the boy!”
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“Well!” she said; “it’s just such a surprise!”
“Uh-huh;” I said. “it’s a story about people who fall in love with people of the same gender.”
There was a brief silence, and then she said, “Huh! OK!”
How I long for the day when all people, upon hearing of two men or two women marrying, will simply say, “Huh! Okay!” – and then celebrate that union with as much gusto as they would any other.
For it is about honoring simple fairness and religious freedom; it is about honoring the “worth and dignity of all persons;” it is about honoring love.
And so I hope you will join me after our Social Hour for a forum with Kerry Chaplin, Southern California organizer for California Faith for Equality. Sponsored by our “Living the Welcoming Congregation” Task Force, it will be well worth your time, I know.
Please….join me, in this solid and joyful step on our continuing journey to create a world that is free and just and loving for all of God’s people.
Amen.
© 2007 Anne Felton Hines. All rights reserved.
