A Symphony of Happiness
November 18th, 2007 The Reverend Anne Felton Hines
There seems to be a rumor going around this church that I love shoes. One member a while back gifted me with a plaque that reads, “If the shoe fits, buy one in every color!” And occasionally I’ll find a cartoon or slip of paper in my Emerson mailbox with a quote on it about shoes, such as the one on this morning’s Order of Service cover, spoken by Mrs. Ben Franklin: “Shoes are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Even one of my sisters sent me a birthday card last year that read, “All I want is peace on earth and really cute shoes!” She claimed that the card was meant for me!
Well, the rumor must be true; I do love shoes, and have far more of them than I need. But while I am thankful that I am comfortable enough financially to purchase shoes that I don’t need, I must admit that a closet-full of colorful and cute shoes isn’t what makes me happy! Indeed, after looking at how much money I’ve spent on them that should have been more wisely spent; and after experiencing leg cramps and sore knee joints after standing in those cute shoes for several hours…I can safely say that they often make me unhappy!
This is the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and therefore it seems an apt time to reflect on what it is that makes us happy – what it is for which we give thanks. Is it all those things we spend money on – our clothes, our cars, our big-screen TVs and our tiny cell phones that do so much? Or is it, as the song from The Sound of Music suggests, “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…?” Or is happiness something even more elusive than that?
It’s rather easy for me to tell you what some of “my favorite things” are:
For instance, I love toys – especially toys that make funny noises, or that sing, or hop, or produce bubbles. I have a collection of wind-up toys – some of which flip, some of which hop, some of which turn around in circles and flip over, and some of which play musical instruments.
I like toys, however, not only because they make me happy, but because they bring chuckles and even laughter to others. I often buy stuffed animals for my grandchildren which, when a hand or foot is pressed, sing some silly song, or growl, or make some other obnoxious sound; it does not make my kids particularly happy, but it makes my grandkids happy, which is the point after all.
One Christmas my contribution to the family grab bag was a nun puppet that had boxing gloves, and you could make her arms move as if she were boxing. My sister-in-law ended up with it, and was not at all appreciative! However, she did admit a few weeks later that she’d placed it on her desk at her office (she’s the Administrator for an Episcopal church), and it was a huge hit. So there you have it!
This past week, two friends brought me my latest toy: A “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutants & Monsters Sewer Spewer!” It’s a big tank that one drives with a remote control; and with a push of a button, white guk shoots out of the tank. It’s quite disgusting, I loved it! I was going to demonstrate it for you today, but I’d already used up all the guk that it “spews,” and didn’t have time to go buy more. Another time, perhaps.
UU minister and author Robert Fulghum has said that what he really wants for Christmas is to have his childhood back, and maybe that’s what I experience when I play with toys: a piece of my childhood back. And it’s even more fun to experience it with someone who’s actually is still a child!
Dancing makes me happy. I love any kind of dancing, but the most fun is where I don’t need to worry about following specific steps, but can just let my body move. In fact, I’ve learned that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found it more difficult to follow a partner, and I’ve wondered if it reflects my evolution from follower to leader in various aspects of life.
And it won’t surprise you to know that laughter makes me happy; I’m a real sucker for anybody who can make me laugh. This has proven dangerous sometimes, as I’ve even been tempted to vote for politicians with whom I totally disagreed, but who were funny. Fortunately, the election ballot doesn’t include jokes on it, or who knows what might happen?!
What’s really dangerous is that I even sometimes find completely inappropriate jokes funny. When I was serving the San Dieguito Fellowship, there was a member who had a very …well…different sense of humor – what some might call “sick.”
But nevertheless, the lines were funny! So I’d be at some small dinner party with him and other members of the congregation, and he’d make some really inappropriate joke, and I’d burst out laughing while everyone else was gasping, and his wife was saying, “Oh Ralph!” I was very relieved that he hadn’t attended any function during Candidating Week before they chose me as their minister!
Rain makes me happy; it’s even better when accompanied by thunder, lightening and wind. Every time I move into a new home, I await with great anticipation for the first rainfall, as I want to hear it on the roof. Of course, this makes living in Southern California more and more difficult, as the joy of rain is experienced less and less. I may need to start spending time every year in Oregon or Washington, just to get my fill of rain!
But these “favorite things” of mine are all transitory moments of happiness. They are things that delight me; but they don’t provide long-lasting happiness.
On the other hand, May Sarton, in her book Endgame, suggests that it’s wrong to think that we’ll ever reach a period of lasting happiness in our lives. She contends that we can only find moments of happiness. In fact, says Sarton, “almost every day (contains) at least one moment of happiness.” Perhaps all we need do is notice those moments, and feel grateful.
I think that there’s a difference between the delight that we experience at various times, and those moments or even significant periods of happiness that bring us a sense of serenity, of centeredness – of being filled with the Holy Spirit of Love. It is as if everything comes together at such times, like pieces of a grand symphony, and we catch – if only for a moment – a glimpse of the Eternal.
Often, when I sit quietly in my back yard and listen to the sounds around me, I suddenly feel that sense of true happiness; I feel filled with the spirit of Love, and I wrap myself for just a few moments in the wonder of that.
The same holds true at the end of the day when I climb into my bed. Often I will sit there before opening whatever book I’m reading, warm beneath the covers, and suddenly be reminded of how much I love my house, and how good life is. All the pieces of my world come together in that moment, and I feel incredible peace.
There are times while playing my piano when everything seems to come together and I feel a part of the music. In those moments I feel such serenity, such happiness – completely at home in myself and in the world.
And driving long distances by myself, as I have done a few times on sabbaticals. There comes a moment when I’m speeding along, music filling the car, and some beautiful landscape surrounding me, when suddenly a profound sense of well-being overcomes me, and I think to myself, “God, I am so happy; thank you!”
But even these moments of happiness pale in comparison to the joy I receive from the people in my life.
My best friends are my two sisters – one in L.A. and the other in Connecticut; you have heard me speak of them often, and I do not know what I’d do without them. But I also have two brothers who inspire me, challenge me, and make me laugh. I count these four siblings among the greatest blessings of my life.
My two children and two grandchildren bring me immense happiness, and I feel so grateful that I’ve been able to remain in close proximity to them. It has been especially wonderful to watch my grandkids become at home here at Emerson. To see Josh spell out “Go now in peace” with magnetic letters on my refrigerator; and to watch Karina become pals with other UU girls her age. She now regularly emails some she met at DeBenneville Pines; and last night she and Madeleine Calvi had a sleepover at my house. It makes my heart sing.
Friends who continue to keep me company on my journey through life, despite the number of times I’ve mis-stepped; teachers who have had faith in me when I didn’t; all of you, who have invited me into your lives, and who allow me to serve as your pastor, your preacher, and sometimes your “prodder.”
Indeed, I even feel blessed by those people, past and present, who have been the proverbial “thorns in my side,” for they have challenged me with mirrors of myself that I didn’t necessarily want to see; they have forced me to define myself more clearly, and I have become stronger and more honest in the process. In some cases, they have taught me the difficult task of reconciliation.
What is it that brings you happiness? When is it that you feel a sense of serenity, of well-being, of all the parts of yourself coming together? It does not matter how long it lasts; it only matters that we notice that we are happy, and that we take a moment to say “thank you.”
One of the poems that embodies happiness for me is this prayer by e. e. cummings, son of a Unitarian minister:
I thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky, and for everything
which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday, this is the birthday
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any – lifted from the no of all nothing –
human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
I invite you to enter a brief moment of silence to recall what it is that brings you happiness.
Amen
© 2007 Anne Felton Hines. All rights reserved.
